i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying
"oh no my potato"
According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.
so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”
the dad joke to end all dad jokes
some people were born today. hello babies welcome to the earth. you missed a bunch of stuff while you were busy not existing. jbiebs did some things you would not believe
sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion
without an ion
everyone needs to see this post i’m not sorry
oh you had a bad day???????? WELL 2014 years ago the dinosaurs went instinct on this very day. think before u speak
…..sweetheart, I think you are mistaken.
listen sweetie(: im a dinosaur scientist i know what i’m talking about
"average person makes 3 sexist remarks a day " factoid actualy just statistical error. average person makes 0 sexist remarks per day. Tony Abbott, who lives in cave & makes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
who the hell thought turtlenecks were a good idea
Do you ever get into an argument with someone and find yourself unable to speak for a moment because you’re just so blown away by how utterly wrong and ignorant the other person is being and you can’t understand how anyone could actually believe the things they are saying